jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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