do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
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