is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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