My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
