Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
