Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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