I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
