Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
