all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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