i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
