I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
