I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The adults are the big ones right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize