You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
