ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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