Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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