69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
this will be a night to untag.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
