the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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