I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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