There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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