It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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