Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
