dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
