It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He better not be in your backpack
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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