when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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