god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
