flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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