i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
