Do you still have your period?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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