If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
