I heard we made out
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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