Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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