2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
