remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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