Non-Jews are for practice
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
