I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
