i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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