Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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