Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize