so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
