I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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