oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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