I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
