i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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