alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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