a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
