A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
