Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
