There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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