I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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