I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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