Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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(269): View more from Michigan

i think the cat found all the blow we lost...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
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(718): View more from New York

he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

(917): View more from New York City

smooth operator

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(404): View more from Georgia

They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.

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(407): View more from Florida

She even gives head with a lisp.

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(206): View more from Washington

i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.

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(415): View more from California

I'm just so full of love and alcohol

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