don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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