it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need a beard to bite.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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