How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
