ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
