so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
